random post
its been ages! i miss writing so much tho i havent spare my time to be actually sit in front of my laptop and let the words puzzling in my head comes out. and i choose the day is today :-)
nothing special to be honest, to this very day i still living my life in a average way. woke up every morning (really early in the morning) go to work, then out from work..do some workouts then straight home. and when the weekends finally came, special wasnt coming to my way of life either. sometimes i went with my friends or family. but thats it..thats pretty much it. u hear boring? applied to me more.. more than boring.
i started to feel something missin in my life. somethings important i guess, cause i feel...flat. and theres nothing i can do about it. i just live it...i have to.
i am 22, well actually turning 23 this years. yes, old enough yet young enough either. i probably dont know how to say it, but... i gotta live my life once again. i feel like dead to me. dead.
not that i dont feel gracious about my life. i know i have the best family and great friends. but...fck i'm bored. to death.
and as days went by, i know some boys and stuffs. i started to set an over-hi expectations about them without me realizing it. when i found out, i feel..........scared. cause, i tend to push them away if i wasnt feelin right. even just for a bit. it pretty much been a contradictive version of my self. of how i used to tell people esp my friends "to accept ur partners just the way they are, cause people, anyone have flaws. we're not perfect".
and bla bla bla..........why me, set this high expectations? i dont even know for gods sake.
what i feel, when they're like not in my kinda 'zone', i started to push them away and...scratch their name on my list (if thats even possible, i only imagining it).
i need my mate, my partner, my bestfriend, my man. and that starting to scares me cause i havent found him yet.
i need good decent guy, is that too much to ask, God ?
2 comments
Hai nadya.. it's nice to read your blog, especially this 'random post'. i just want you to know that life is not simple as we think and sometimes it's hard and boring for us to do but the most important things in life is always be grateful about what you have at this moment. you do not feel hopeless, sad, or regret for your life now because you will never know what will happen in the future. Make it, your life now as a valuable experience to achieve a success life in the future. believe in God when the time comes, God will give you happiness ever after
ReplyDeletehello Mr/Ms. Anonymous..glad that u like it. yup, no matter how boring is my life now, but i never loose faith of the good things that might come in my way..in the future. hope u'll hv a happy life too as much as i want it so bad in mine :-) cheers!
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