WORD PLAY

well yeah, as u see from my blog title rite now i hv the great feeling to share to you guys about the most historical day of my entire life (so far)...the GRADUATION DAY! horray to the world, now i am officially a college graduate, the fresh one hehe. this achievement didnt come easily for me, it its filled w/ tons and tons of hardwork and sacrifices. perhaps u noticed that in my earlier blog postings, i might mentioned a lot about the making process of my thesis. hard yeah? yes it is. but, it def trade off rite now, i am finally cud smell the air of freedom..the air of reality out there. some says that 'this is not the end, its actually the biggest beginning of ur life as a grown up'. well maybe, when i was just a freshman at campus i didnt really understand of what the hell that means, but now i am to-tal-ly understood. at this point, i am making a lot of decisions and plans of what i want to do for my next chapter of life. this is kinda, serious yet not too serious decisions. cause, u see.. u have to be more careful of what u'll decide for ur life, ur career, ur love life..but..dont be too hard on yourself either. meaning that, u have to go with the flow..enjoy the every bites of life that bite u hard! well u know what i'm sayin rite..

these past 4 years of my college life has been nothing but magnificent and ecstatic journey of my life. i met lots of great friends, senior, junior, lecturer and yes..lots of great experiences. as maybe i lost some of em along the way, that doesnt make me regret what i did in the past. its umm..a big and unforgettable lesson for myself. as i sit there yesterday in the assembly hall on the day of my graduation, that feeling hit me. i'm gonna miss these moments. i'm gonna miss these great girls, great friends, best places to learn, to hang, to just laugh about nothing and some lame jokes. i'm def gonna miss these...bittersweet moments. i really, have to leave this all behind me with that big annoying smile on my face hehe :')

we're gonna take our separate ways to chase our dreams, find out who we are, make dreams n hopes into reality, and create a very stunning life story of ours.. this is sad, i'm not gonna lie..but we gotta do what we gotta do. this is the path that we make, this is the road that we choose..and i believe we're gonna find our very own dreams in the end.

goodluck my dearest friends..lets create the most beautiful dream ever burst in our mind and turn them into reality. i know we cud, i believe we can :) thanku thanks a lot for the last 4 years, u guys has been really great and nice, i'm never gonna miss these memories of ours and i hope u'll do the same. 

i am pretty blown by the medium-wind fluttering on the top of my skin. kinda cold, but i survived :p its sort of soothing here, i just realized now for i've been living in this house for about 22yrs old. i know riteee haha thats silly. sooo.. i kinda doze off earlier for about 2 hours and woke up in fresh condition. and i dont know where it hits me, but i am feeling to write rite now.

so, yeah of course i wouldnt wanna talk about my unemployment phase. because i am trying to work my ass off to be able get out of that phase :p guess i just wanna talk about............the absence of my intimate relationship with man rite now haha yea i know thats stupid. but i feel like to share a bit.

i know that i've been practically single and alone for a quite long time, but to be honest i didnt feel any kind of loneliness at all. i mean cmon, i have lots of great friends surrounds me, well not most of the time. but at least when i feel like to hang out, they were there. but i know that sometimes my mum and brothers think i kinda "pathetic" girl who cudnt handle her love life well. i know that my mum kinda worried that i am sort of...hving a hard time finding the right guy. well, doesnt evryone deal with that too?

i am 100% believe that, my mum dad n brothers think i am sort of a sassy n too picky girl when it comes to guys. believe me, i am not. it hits me the most when my auntie said that i def being too picky which i believe that i dont do that picky kinda stuff. how cudddd, b/c my exes r totally casual regular guys. u know, no high class or anything. i just dont feel theres any eligible single guy whos rite for me rite now. n u cudnt rush to it rite? i am now 22yrs old, and i dont feel like to waste my time for some sort of 'playing' relationship with guys.but its not that i too serious too, its just u knowww  i want to be in an serious yet comfy with the right guy kinda relationship. 

probably this owl city tunes that i set on the playlist is the main factor why on earth rite now i being so sensitive n mellow. yuck.. haha but thats fine, u gotta say what u gotta say rite? (-:

i know maybe maybe maybe..ur tummy wud got tickling when i said that i'm sort of girl who still believe that my prince charming wud come someday somewhere. yes i still do believe in that. its quite surreal how i still have in faith in such thing like that, but here i am. cause hey, who do u want to spend the rest of ur life with, except ur very own verse of prince charming. am i rite peopleee? (-:

have u ever feel that 'somethings wrong with me or what?' cause u still remain single till now? well yeah, sometimes i do questioned that kinda stuff to my self, somewhere between conscious and sleeping. am i being too picky? am i not good enuff? am i not pretty enough? am i not knowledgeable enough? or what? its just some random thoughts that only crossed into my mind once in a while tho. and no, i didnt found the answer..

this is somewhat, catches my ear when listening to it

this is what I dreamed of 'love at first sight'

tho for me, never experienced it myself

"tell me again was it love at 1st sight..

when I walked by and u caught my eye

didnt u know that love cud shine this bright?

well smile bcs u're the deer in the headlights"

-OwlCity

what a happy deer haha 

yea, as u know..I'm a moslem and its a tradition for us that every Ramadhan month (as in Hijriah) we do fasting everyday. and in the first of Syawal (its the month aftr Ramadhan) we celebrate our..mm what shud I say, victory? for being able to control our lust, anger, as well the hunger and thirst for doin fasting. 

for short, in Eid Mubarak day we shall forgive each other as we're going back to 'fitrah', that way means we're born as a child again, innocent and purely free from sins also mistakes.

so, for me..this yr's Eid Mubarak feels a bit diffrnt, cause in the prviously years..my 'maafin aku ya' is just somekind of u know, words. but this yr, I found out that I really need to forgive other whole-heartedly. prbbly u know what I'm talkin abt. yes, I am dealing w/ my past. I ask for forgiveness and give one too :) I hope I did it sincerely, I do really hope so. Cause, if I'm not, its just me..bullshitt-in around w/ my fake words 'iya2 sama2..maafin aku jg' or 'iya sama2, pasti gw byk salah' and etc..

as one of my bestie said 'I'm glad u're finally make peace w/ ur past :)' I guess I am, or at least I'm tryin too.

Cause its the whole Eid Mubarak thing after all. I just tried to make the most of it, by this kinda tricky forgiveness things. Hope I've grown a lot as I'm feeling it too :)

well, Happy Eid Mubarak to u too..to every one of u. I'm dealing with my past as well make peace w/ it. cause leaving it all without any solving, is kinda useless u know. Hope I'm doin the rite thing rite now  :)

happy eid mubarak 1432H

May I be forgiven for all my mistakes and wrongs

:)